On a recent Raising Orchid Kids membership call, one of the parents shared a win that had Jen and me cheering.
It was the end of a long day (never a good time). Parent had had a frustrating day at work and was now trying to get dinner on the table. Kiddo was hungry and complaining that it was taking too long.
Parent looked at kiddo and said,
“you know what: I’m in the yellow zone right now, and I’m having a hard time, so you just need to know that”.
If you don’t know about the Zones of Regulation, they’re a great tool for people (parents and kids alike) to understand their own mental states. And they’re a tool we talk about in our Raising Orchid Kids Core Course.
Loosely described:
Blue = sad, tired, bored
Green = feeling fine, able to hang with whatever’s happening
Yellow = worried, silly, excited, frustrated
Red = flipped out, angry, out of control
As you can see, the Yellow Zone is a transition zone. We’re not all the way flipped out (yet), but we’re not in full control of ourselves and our emotions.
There is NOTHING WRONG with the Yellow Zone.
In fact – depending on the circumstances, there’s nothing wrong with any of the zones. (If we’re about to be attacked, we SHOULD be in the Red Zone).
The problem only comes when we are unaware that there’s a mismatch between our state (the zone we’re in) and the demands of the situation.
So, if we can bring some awareness into the mix, everything automatically feels better.
The Yellow Zone is just the Yellow Zone – it’s nothing to worry about, and it’s something we can normalize for other people.
Especially for our Orchid Kids.
What a powerful example of self-awareness in action; what a powerful MODEL for a child to see. (Remember that our kids are paying WAY more attention to what we do than what we tell them to do).
So, for this parent and Orchid Kid, Parent being in the Yellow Zone (and bringing awareness to it) turned into a powerful and positive lesson in a few different things for this Orchid Kid:
- My parent is human
- Other people get upset like I do
- I have options about how I behave
And isn’t that what we’re constantly trying to teach our Orchid Kids?
PS – when was the last time you were in the Yellow Zone? Did you notice? Do you think you might notice next time?