Your child’s regulation stars with you!
Are you SO GLAD summer has ended and school has started? Are you mourning the loss of long lazy days and vacation? Somewhere in between? Meh?
Yep.
This time of year brings with it ALL THE FEELINGS. And sometimes, just remembering that can make some of the feelings not so big–for you. But maybe not for your Orchid, who is still learning how to metabolize all of their feelings in a constructive way.
Now is the best time to deploy your secret weapon: co-regulation!
When you stay regulated (roughly meaning, your energy level matches the energy of the situation and you feel good in your own skin), you CONVEY that regulated state to everyone around you.
Regulation is contagious. (PS – so is dysregulation.) Use it wisely and to your benefit.
Parents need regulation, too. It helps everybody.
If you’re feeling anxious about school starting and transitions into activities, sports and fall life, then there’s a good chance your Orchid will pick up on that and express anxiety too (thereby adding to their original feelings of anxiousness).
But – ninja move – if you can disconnect from your Orchid’s anxiety, take care of your own nervous system so that you feel better, calmer, more regulated, then you’ll be able to co-regulate with your kiddo, validate their experience and help them through their anxiety.
Which feels WAY better than letting both of your anxieties ping-pong off of each other! This ping-ponging of energy/emotions is the result of mirror neurons, which cause brains to mirror the energy/emotions of those around us. This is really helpful when we’re about to be attacked by a lion, but less helpful when our Orchid is having a meltdown in Target.
More resources to support co-regulation in your life.
Read a blog post
If you want more on Co-regulation and mirror neurons, check out a recent blog post on that here.
Work with us directly
If that feels too hard to do alone, we’re opening up some 1:1 strategy appointments. What happens during 1:1 sessions? You get to ask your burning questions and we help you problem-solve. We’ll also give you practical strategies (you know we are ALL about the practical strategies) that you can try IMMEDIATELY that will start to change the dynamics at your house, including how to stay calm and how to validate emotions without tolerating “inappropriate behaviors.”
Think: less screaming, more fun, less anxiety and fewer meltdowns.
Take a dedicated course
Another great option for support is our Core Course, which runs throughout the year.
Our Core Course helps parents of ‘neurospicy’ kids understand why their kiddos act the way they do, strategies for shifting the way you see and interpret your Orchid’s behavior, usable ideas for what to do about it, and how to feel a whole lot better about life in general.
PS: We want to hear how your summer was in our free Raising Orchid Kids Facebook Group. Share what went well, what you’re struggling with and how we can help. There’s so much yummy support in there.