Holding your breath? Anxious about your neurodivergent child lagging behind? Breathe easy–change IS happening. Here are five ways to practice becoming a patient parent.
Patient parents can learn from the seasons
Have you ever noticed how, in early spring, the world seems to hold its breath? For weeks, the trees look the same, bare and lifeless, and the ground remains stubbornly brown. Then, seemingly overnight, everything changes. The buds on the trees explode into blossoms, the grass turns a vivid green, and flowers you hadn’t even realized were there suddenly burst into color. It’s as if the earth has been working quietly, behind the scenes, and suddenly it decides: today is the day.
The thing about spring is that it reminds us how change happens all the time, even when we can’t see it, and this is especially true for kids. Their growth can be so subtle and slow that we miss it, until one day, we suddenly notice how much they’ve bloomed.
This is true of all kids, but it’s especially relevant for Orchid Kids. The developmental changes in Orchid Kids can be hard to notice, just like those slow, steady changes in early spring. Mostly these kiddos don’t show immediate signs of growth or mastery when learning new skills or navigating challenges. They take longer to adapt to transitions, or they might appear to be stuck in a phase of resistance or insecurity. But things are happening. Beneath the surface, their minds and hearts are growing, processing, and preparing for a moment of visible change.
Sometimes, with Orchid Kids, it feels like nothing is happening. They can be resistant, or they can retreat into themselves, leaving you wondering if they’re really absorbing the support and lessons you’re offering. But just like spring, change is quietly taking place, often so slowly that you don’t see it until one day, there it is. They’ve learned to self-regulate during a meltdown, or they’ve finally found the confidence to speak up in class. Suddenly, they’ve bloomed, and all the quiet effort that led to that moment becomes visible.
Think about what it takes for spring to happen. Those first flowers and bright green leaves didn’t just appear out of nowhere. They were forming, slowly but steadily, through weeks of cold weather and hidden growth. The same is true for Orchid Kids. Their development isn’t a straight line. It’s cyclical, full of quiet periods and bursts of progress. It takes patience to wait for those bursts, but they’re always worth it.
Supporting your child as a patient parent
The key to supporting kids through their quiet seasons is to trust the process. Like tending a garden, it requires consistent care and nurturing.
Here are a few ways to help foster their growth:
- Create a safe and supportive environment. Orchid Kids need stability and understanding to thrive. This doesn’t mean sheltering them from every challenge, but it does mean providing them with a foundation of emotional safety. When they feel secure, they’re more likely to take risks, explore, and grow.
- Celebrate small wins. Just like you’d marvel at the first signs of spring, take time to notice and celebrate even the smallest signs of growth in your child. These moments might not seem big, but they’re the building blocks of bigger changes.
- Be patient. Growth doesn’t happen on our timeline, and that can be frustrating. But rushing a child to bloom before they’re ready is like trying to force a flower to open. Give them the time they need, and trust that they’ll get there.
- Provide gentle encouragement. Orchid Kids often need reassurance to venture outside their comfort zones. Be their cheerleader, reminding them that they’re capable and loved, even when they’re struggling.
- Take care of yourself, too. Supporting any child, especially one as sensitive and complex as an Orchid Kid, can be demanding. Make sure you’re giving yourself the same care and patience that you’re giving them. After all, a healthy gardener grows healthy plants.
It’s worth being a patient parent
Spring is coming (promise!), and with it, a powerful reminder that change is always happening, even when we can’t see it. Just as the trees and flowers know when it’s time to bloom, kids know, too. They’re growing and changing in ways we may not notice until the moment arrives when they’re ready to reveal it.
So as the days get longer and the world starts to wake up, let it remind you to have faith in the slow and steady process of growth. Whether you’re nurturing an Orchid Kid or simply observing the natural rhythms of development, know that the quiet work is just as important as the bright blooms. And when that moment of change finally comes? It’ll take your breath away.
Speaking of becoming a patient parent, need a little extra support with parenting teens? Our next Parenting Teens support group is coming up in May. Learn more here.
Photo by CDC on Unsplash