We often talk about social narratives as a way to support our Orchid Kids, so we figured we’d break them down for those of you who aren’t sure: a) what the heck they are; b) why the heck anyone would spend the time making one; c) when the heck you’d use one; and, d) how the heck do you make one of these things?
So, here you go! Also, we will be offering a “Make and Take” webinar in 2025 when we come together and actually make social narratives together that you can use with your Orchid, so keep your eyes peeled for that or better yet, subscribe to our newsletter for updates.
What is a social narrative?
Social narratives, often called Social Stories (which is a copyrighted term) are short, illustrated stories designed to help kids understand social expectations, navigate different social environments and prepare for novel or possibly challenging experiences. They can be incredibly helpful for Orchid Kids (and non-Orchids too!), as Jen and many of our Raising Orchid Kids folks can attest to. Jen has used them extensively and her son Max loved them. Here and here are some examples of Max’s social narratives.
Why do social narratives matter?
Making social narratives does take some time, so it’s pretty key to know what your return on investment can be. Social narratives can help with:
Reducing anxiety: Who doesn’t want tools to reduce anxiety? Orchid Kids often feel anxious in unfamiliar environments and social situations (which often results in their nervous systems becoming upregulated and/or dysregulated, which, of course, can lead to meltdowns). Social narratives help prepare them for what to expect, and managing expectations is one of the top strategies for setting Orchid Kids up for success.
Breaking down unwritten social “rules”: Social narratives can explain what some of the unwritten social expectations are for lots of different contexts. They can also help kids who struggle to read social cues (which is MANY Orchids) by explaining some of those cues in a straightforward way. These can be tucked into a story (like how in Max’s Trip to Florida it mentioned what we can do on the plane).
Promote independence: Social narratives can empower Orchid Kids by teaching them how to handle situations on their own without always relying on adult help. And we know that when our Orchids feel competent, they feel calmer and more regulated (which is ALWAYS good).
When social narratives work
Social narratives can be helpful in ALL kinds of situations. They work really well for new experiences (like traveling somewhere new, or starting a new school or a new camp), for predictably challenging experiences (like hosting or attending a birthday party, or going to the dentist), or for explicitly explaining some social norms that they are struggling with (like play dates, or shifting to long sleeved shirts and pants in winter).
You can introduce the story a week before if helpful, or two weeks, or the day before if you have a kiddo who will become anxious about the event approaching. You know your Orchid better than anyone else, so introduce it when the time seems right. And, if your timing doesn’t go so well, now you know better for next time!
How social narratives work
Here are some basic guidelines to follow and steps to take:
• Identify the topic: preview what things are coming down the pike that might be hard for your Orchid to manage. You can also try out a story to help address some of the social challenges you’re noticing (Pro tip: Make sure you are choosing a “just right challenge” and honor your Orchid’s development level).
• Identify the challenge: what might be hard for your kiddo in that situation and break down the elements that might cause distress or anxiety (Pro tip #2: think about the situation from your Orchid’s perspective).
• Use simple, positive language: avoid using “don’t” – phrase it in the positive (e.g., instead of “we don’t yell on the airplane” say, “we can use quiet voices to talk when we’re on the plane”). Align the sentence length and complexity with your kiddo’s age and developmental level.
• Use first-person statements: Use these as much as possible. For example: “When I go to the doctor with my mom, I will sit in the waiting room until my name is called.” “We” statements also work when appropriate.
• Describe and break down the steps involved: you can also explain why certain behaviors are expected and helpful (e.g., “At the dentist’s office, I will sit back in the comfy chair and open my mouth when the dentist asks. That way, she can check and count my teeth.”)
• Include visuals: Use photos of your child whenever you can, so they can better envision themselves in the situation. Clip art and stock photos from the internet work too!
And here are some other options for building social narratives:
Perspective sentences (optional): You can describe how others may feel or react (e.g., “Other children might want to play with the same toys I like. They might feel sad if I grab a toy out of their hands.”)
Directive sentences (optional): Suggest the expected behavior or responses, and include the why (e.g., “I will take turns using the slide, so other kids can have fun too!”)
Acknowledge challenges (optional): You can be real and say that this might feel hard, and that’s okay (e.g., “Sometimes the line at the airport is long, and we will have to wait. We can listen to music, play a standing up game or talk while we wait.”)
Let us know if questions arise and look out for our workshop where we can walk you through how to write one of these for your Orchid.
PS: If you’re not there yet, join us in our free Raising Orchid Kids Facebook Group. We share wins, struggles, resources and community. There’s so much fantastic support in there!
Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash